writing a load of ....

 Hi. so since i have been social distancing a lot of late i thought grat what a great time to start writing again with the script that i put a pause on all those months ago try and get more of it done. As I thought that just maybe if i try and get it finished even if it just a poliet for a tv show then maybe I can say that I finally feel good about myself. 

However, it so crap, like I don't know why I am hurting myself like this. I am not a script writer, I am not a writer in genral. So I don't know why I told myself I can do this. Like yes I know I am eight pages in and how can i know that i am going to be crap with that many pages? But I am just going over and over it on google docs thinking to myself that if I ever finish this. Share this peice of rubbish with anybody they will laugh at my face and basically forbid me from ever writing ever again. That how bad i think it is. 

Yeah it not even funny bad that it good bad, it bad,bad. Like why do I have such a creative mind, have so many stories that I want to share with the world and yet when I try and type it down on paper, instead of beautiful words, piles of horse poo comes onto it instead. thing is I did classes in creative writing, writing for story. yeah they was free but still something and they all like what i write.

I strongly think they said they like it because i was the only one who showed up and they didn't want to hurt my feeling so i would stop coming but still. Like I love story telling and writing and never stop but why can't I just be at a level where I am a okay writer. not a crap writer

all the best

Zanny

xx